Duke's Big Love
by ClosetDweller
Summary: Duke finds a new love... it's a shocker. No really, it is. And he finds out that the world may not be all it seems to be.


The dark haired young man tensely stretched his muscles- he would need them flexible to the max for the ordeal ahead of him. He calculated his chances of succeeding in his impending mission. Not too bad. He checked his gear and looked at his watch- it was now or never.

_Time to get the newspaper_, he thought.

"Master Devlin?" Alfred, Duke's manservant, opened the door. "Shall I retrieve the morning paper for you?"

"It's MISTER Devlin; I'm not a child," Duke said, carelessly tossing the giant lollipop he had been licking to the ground. "And no, I myself will personally do the deed."

"Doesn't this estate have dogs trained for that task?" Alfred had a trained unemotional face, which had been the deciding factor in his being hired to the Devlin household.

Duke shifted from one foot to the other. "Well... I'll give them the day off."

"Sir, you've been giving them the day off for over a year."

Duke decided not to reply. Alfred remained where he was, standing by the door, examining Duke.

He couldn't take it anymore. "Getting the paper gives me exercise!" Duke exclaimed. "I need exercise to maintain this perfect body. And that's all there is to it. My getting the paper has nothing to do with the fact that there are always newspaper and magazine photographers waiting outside my house to take a picture of me, because I don't care about publicity, and I couldn't care less about my face being on the covers of every magazine in the world for girls to swoon over, since as EVERYONE knows, I am NOT a conceited, self-centered, egotistical stud in the least!" Duke crossed his arms (making sure his "biceps" bulged) with a smirk on his face. A minute later, he was still standing with crossed arms and a smirk on his face. "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I should make a correction to what I just said." Duke said after thinking hard about what he just said. "I AM a stud." Satisfied that he had fooled Alfred about his true reasons for getting the paper (which was to be photographed and to have his face on the covers of every magazine in the world for girls to swoon over), he grabbed a comb and fixed his hair one more time, then swaggered out the door past his butler. Alfred stood aside, bemused. _I hear that that Ishtar boy has been seeing a highly recommended shrink_, the butler thought, _perhaps I should get the number for Devlin._

_Today I look especially good_, Duke thought. _I can't wait for the public to see how good I look_. If you hadn't guessed by now, reader, Duke is, in fact, quite conceited, and his true reason for getting the paper actually is the photographers. He loves having his picture taken.

He walked down the mirror plated hall, admiring himself at every angle. _Don't forget the sunglasses!_ He thought, picking them up off a shelf. Sometimes the flashes from the cameras could be quite blinding, so he had had special sunglasses made for his newspaper retrieval-related activities. Now, while these glasses were very good at shielding the wearer's eyes from the bright flashes, they had one slight drawback- it was impossible to see anything with them on. Luckily, Duke had rehearsed getting the newspaper so often, it did not matter whether or not he could see a thing.

Ahem. Let's take a break from Duke for the moment, and talk about the state of his front yard. It features luxurious grass and an expansive marble walkway. At the moment, it is very peaceful and free of photographers- a fact that is crucial to the plot of this humble story. Duke does not know this. Across the street are a few pedestrians walking around happily doing pedestrian things. Birds are chirping, bees are humming, and the sun is shining- very peaceful. It's almost like an allergy medicine commercial. If you had allergies, and you were privy to this sight, you would immediately cease having allergies, I promise. This scene is so potent that you could run outside and stuff flowers up your nose, eat all the fruit you want, inhale- OUCH! Ok! I'll shut up, geez. Anyway, back to my point, which is that I just want to close my eyes, lean back, and-

_BOOM!_ That was the sound of the front door being slammed open. By the way, have I told you that I consider myself extremely fortunate for not being born with any allergies whatsoever? I know, it's- what's that? You want me to get on with the story? Well, sheesh, why didn't you just say so? Back to Duke cue squealing

Duke stepped out of the doorway like a man on fire. Not literally. He swaggered, he posed, and he made random spins. _Just so that everyone can have the pleasure of viewing my outfit the way it was meant to be viewed_, thought Duke, _I do such a great service to the community_. When he reached the newspaper, he bent down to pick it up, flashing a dazzling smile all the while.

By this time, those jolly pedestrians from before, two of them being Yugi Motou and his mother, are now gathered across the street, staring slack jawed at the not something you see everyday scene of a young man catwalking across his empty lawn. "That poor boy," whispered Ms. Motou, feeling very thankful that her own son was no longer clinically insane and talking to himself. Yugi thought, _Oh my gosh_. You see, Yugi is frightened of bees.

Everyone was so busy staring at Duke that nobody noticed a pair of youngsters walking up to him. Giggling, they threw tomatoes at the entrepreneur. Life stirred within Duke's audience only when the food hit him as he reached the door.

"HEY!" Duke squealed, turning around and taking off his sunglasses. "Who…" Dead silence. "WHERE ARE ALL THE PHOTOGRAPHERS?"

To be continued...

after I get 10 comments D


End file.
